I belong here.

Growing up I never felt like I belong. Some might say "oh sad" but it isn't a sad kind of thing. I tried to fit in with the world. I wore the right clothes, I said the right things, I hung out with the right people but it just never seemed to work out. I always felt like I was out of place.

Now I know why.

I don't belong to this world. I tried to give my heart to a perverse world. I expected it to treat it with TLC and the only way I ever got it back was bruised and broken. It happened this way because this world is not my home. I don't belong here. I am a stranger here, I was sent here to be salt to be light!

If you try to put a puzzle piece where it doesn't belong it won't work. You might be able to force it in to the place that you want it to go but it won't match up with the surrounding pieces, the picture will not be complete.

I have been trying to force myself where I do not belong. I have tried for so long to make myself go where I do not belong and now I have found the right spot. I belong in the center of God's will. I belong in the only place that I can safely reside. I can now only dwell in the center of God's will. Where else can I be satisfied but here.
If the center of God's will is for me to be sitting in the prayer room for hours and hours in this season I will do it even if at times it is excruciatingly painful, because I can only reside in the center of the will of God for my life.I will not be satisfied anywhere else.

My God is Great and I do not know Him.

I sit in teachings seven times a week. I learn so much I am taught about how God loves me, about intercession, about meditation and the beatitudes. I sit in the prayer room for hours on hours seeking God's face, sitting at the feet of the creator of the universe and I feel now as though the only thing that I have learned is that I don't know God at all.

I never understood how the four living creatures could encircle the the throne for all of eternity and every time find a different facet of God. Every time see something new, mind blowing and breathtaking. I thought eventually they will run out of things to look at. Although I still do not fully understand I feel like I might be starting to.

I understand what he meant when Job said "Behold, God is great, and we know Him not!" The more that I get to know God the more I realize that I don't know Him at all! He is so good, he is majestic, and sovereign; but I still don't KNOW His greatness and majesty.

If only I could know Him I would be satisfied. If I could be like Him!
I just want to know God. I do so long to know His glory, to know the sweet embrace of the Father. To stand before the throne and know the King into whose eyes I dare gaze. If only I knew Him! I do understand, however; that if I do SO long to know this man that I must first rend my heart. A slow and painful process but mandatory. I have to be willing to give up my ideas about who God is and allow Him to reveal himself to me. The truth about who He is and not the man that I have grown up to believe that He is.

I think that I have said enough for now though.

If only we knew.

If only we knew how close it really is! If only I knew!

Last night (Monday 8.24.08) my family and I were sitting around in the living room playing games having a family night when Rebeca Foster knocked on the door. She came inside and we all began to talk and talk and talk. We began talking about the end-times; how close they really are, how unprepared we are, and how God is calling us all to a place of purity and intimacy now so that we will not be offended and deceived in the tribulation. God is calling the church into new places and we have to get over our ideas of who we think God is and should be and begin to cry out! We have to KNOW God! We have to know His heart because if we don't get to know Him now we will be deceived in the last days!Its time we get to know God's heart!

Sorry, I got a little preachy but this what is going on. This is right now! It is no longer just words in a book that sits on a bed stand. We have to live it! We have to walk it out!

This is one thing that God is really burning in me right now.
We really do have to be aware in this season. God is about to release things on the earth that have never been seen. But "to whom much is given, much is required"(Luke 12:48).

Six Months!

I thought as it is my first "entry" I would just explain some of what God is doing in me and the place that He has me. As many people know I have already completed the 2008 summer internship at the House of Prayer Cartersville however, I did not feel release from this season. So as a result I am spending another three months interning, in all I am doing six months.

As I have just began the second half God is doing so much!
It is hard to look at but He has shown me the filthiness of my own heart and released the revelation that when he looks on me He sees only a clean heart. He does not see the dirt and the junk but instead sees the YES! He looks on the desire in me for Him and says that is enough.

I feel as though this season is going to be one where God is going to come along side of me and come to me in a place of intimacy